Never work for free. There’s a near 100% chance the recipient will be ungrateful… and you know how I know they won’t be grateful? Because if they cared about your work, they wouldn’t have asked you to do it for free in the first place.

          

Late last summer, the last week of August IIRC, a young woman who at the time I thought was a friend, asked me “Where is your money, Fred?”  I gave her an answer that is literally true with respect to the money I’ve gotten in the past:  I told her it’s tied up in various projects.  The question, however, is more than that, it would be better taken as “Where’s my real money?” i.e., the wealth that will let me live a truly independent life doing the things that are important to me?  That answer is just as brief, but much more complex:  It’s in the future.

I’ve had various levels of “success” over the course of my life’s experiences, but every one of them has been short-lived, ultimately for the same reason:  When it’s been time to celebrate some measure of success, to experience the joy of achievement that inspires moving on to the next level, I’ve been alone.  A “celebration” without the depth of sharing it with someone special is merely a hollow facade, a staged play that fails to uphold the illusion as soon as you look behind the scenes.

Try celebrating by yourself all the time.  During the first round or two, or perhaps a few, you’ll be able to convince yourself you are having fun.  There will be, however, a feeling that something is missing.  That feeling will grow with every passing event.  Left unchecked, it will become a disillusionment that sees every celebration as nothing more than a charade.

When Michael Collins was orbiting the Moon as Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin landed on its surface, he was described as “the loneliest man in the universe.”  That characterization isn’t really accurate:  He was the most isolated man in the universe, but the one who is most lonely is one who is alone in the middle of a crowd of people.

I told her it was going to take a miracle for me to pull it off.  What I didn’t say, which perhaps I should have, was that the miracle I needed was to find that I had someone with whom to build our future, someone to share real celebrations and bring the joie de vie into my world that has been horribly missing for so long.  Just as Neo needed Trinity’s kiss to start his new life, I need to find a spark.  It’s not (strictly) necessary for me to find someone who is going to be a development partner in one, many or all of my efforts:  The missing critical part of the picture is a catalyst, someone who makes it possible to see and believe in the next step down the road to success.

Until I find and connect with my key partner, my real wealth is going to remain in the future.  It disturbs me when I consider the possibility that could end up being the net result of my life.  I sincerely hope that doesn’t happen.