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According to certain suggested versions of the Grand Unified Theory, the primary particles constituting this product may decay to nothingness within the next four hundred million years.
Not responsible for typographical errors.
Not to be copied without the expression permission of the National Foosball League.
Some quantum physics theories suggest that when the consumer is not directly observing this product, it may cease to exist or will exist only in a vague and undetermined state.
Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only.
We have sent the forms which seem right for you.
All models over 18 years of age.
Keep away from small children.
Helium balloons may explode when elevated to extreme heights.
Restaurant package, not for resale.
Shower cap fits one head.
No other warranty expressed or implied.
Shipping and handling extra.
No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop.
Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.
Drop in any mailbox.
Not responsible for user stupidity.
Despite any other listing of product contents found hereon, the consumer is advised that, in actuality, this product consists of at least 99.9999999999% empty space.
Thanks to the San Antonio Astronomical Association.
Useful results can only be obtained in an inertial frame of reference.
Repeating unconfirmed rumors may have adverse consequences.
A 24-hour advance reservation is required.
Must be over 17.
Prerecorded for this time zone.
Optional CDW at $23.00 a day or less (shown for guidance only due to fluctuating exchange rates; accurate as of 03/02/01) is available in Europe.
If symptoms persist, consult your physician.
Public Notice as required by law.
Bonded items should not be placed in oven, microwave or dishwasher.
If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this email is not authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux pas.
Keep this and all software out of the reach of children.
Proof of airline or Amtrak arrival is required at ISP counter or higher rates apply.
Important Notice to Purchasers.
Unless the word inspletularity has been used in its correct context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical use and may be ignored.
Do not fold, spindle or mutilate.
Colors may, in time, fade.
Record additional transactions on back of previous stub.
Do not attempt to stop chainsaw chain with your hands.
Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients.
Attention.
Not a safe alternative to smoking cigarettes.
This abridged version does not contain all of the information present in the full text.
Subject to change without notice.
Warning.
Original proof of purchase must be returned when applying for a refund.
For office use only.
You could be a winner!
The mass of this product contains the energy equivalent of 85 million tons of TNT per net ounce of weight.
Thanks to the Tech Model Railroad Club.
Contents may settle during shipment.
Product will be hot after heating.
See label for sequence.
There is an extremely small but nonzero chance that, through a process know as "tunneling," this product may spontaneously disappear from its present location and reappear at any random place in the universe, including your neighbor's domicile. The manufacturer will not be responsible for any damages or inconvenience that may result.
Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton.
Do not carry loose batteries in pockets, purses or bags.
No postage necessary if mailed in the United States.
Employees and their families are not eligible.
Not available in all states.
Contains substances known by the State of California to cause cancer or birth defects.
Ignorance of the law is no excuse: Omniscience is mandatory in all cases before the court.
This conversation may be recorded for training or quality purposes, or just because we feel like we can get away with it.
Not for use with aluminum utensils or cookware.
You must be present to win.
Do not fold, bend, staple or mutilate.
May cause drowsiness.
Do not drive car or operate machinery immediately after using Boots Children's Cough Medicine.
Handle With Extreme Care.
Call toll free before digging.
Keep marks inside boxes. Be sure you have marked correctly.
No Canadian coins.
Contents under pressure; do not puncture or incinerate.
This is not an offer to sell securities.
Freshest if eaten before date on carton.
Use other side for additional listings.
Subject to local regulation.
This website is not recommended for inmates, ingrates or anyone professing an irrational fear of cats or any other mammal, those who have a penchant for time wasting, illiterates and lawyers.
Do not write below this line.
Special usage rates are also available at select locations.
Sanitized for your protection.
At some off-airport locations, an airport-imposed tax or fee, ranging up to 10% will apply if you choose to exit on our shuttle bus.
Use only pencil or blue or black ball point pen.
Management assumes no liability for unattended items.
Some information may be stored in systems not in your country.
Some restrictions apply.
Avoid alcoholic beverages while using this software.
Void where prohibited.
For external use only.
Harmful if swallowed.
No resemblance to any person, living or dead, is intended.
May cause excitability.
Postage will be paid by addressee.
Health Warning: Care should be taken when lifting this product, since its mass, and thus its weight, is dependent on its velocity relative to the user.
Use only as directed.
Please Note.
Not available in stores, call now, operators are standing by.
Keep away from fire or flame.
Substantial penalty for early withdrawal.
Subject to CAB approval.
No animals were harmed during the creation of this Web site.
Details inside.
Failure to respond in a timely manner may result in imposition of additional penalties.
Parental guidance suggested.
Apply only to affected area.
Not to be used in nuclear reactor control systems.
Not to be copied without the expression permission of Major League Foosball.
The entire physical universe, including this product, may one day collapse back into an infinitesimally small space. Should another universe subsequently re-emerge, the existence of this product in that universe cannot be guaranteed.
No COD's.
Slippery when wet.
Price does not include taxes.
Do not use hair dryer in the shower.
The above limitations may not apply to you.
Not to be used for the other use.
One size fits all.
Place stamp here.
Insure all protective guards are in place before operating machinery.
Protected by Smith and Wesson.
Not the Beatles.
Proof of purchase required.
Warranty period limited.
At participating locations only.
Avoid repeated or prolonged contact with skin.
Optional CDW at $14.99 a day or less is available in the U.S.
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
Your mileage may vary.
Do not stamp.
This product is meant for educational purposes only.
Hearing protection may be required.
Avoid contact with skin.
Remove baby before folding stroller.
Subject to availability.
Do not remove label under penalty of law.
Violators will be towed at owner's expense. See owner for reimbursement form.
Many suitcases look alike.
Driver does not carry cash.
Not insured by the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation.
What goes up, must come down.
Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement.
Your cancelled check is your receipt.
Screens must remain in place to ensure bug free operation.
Safe for children and pets.
Disabling security features will increase the chance of data theft or corruption.
Not suitable for use at relativistic speeds.
For use only in the intended use.
Some equipment shown is optional.
Do not dispose of in fire.
Read this before opening package.
May cause allergic skin reaction.
Slightly higher west of the Mississippi.
Full license agreement is included within.
List each check separately by bank number.
The buyer assumes all risks associated with using this product.
List at least two alternate dates.
Add toner.
Decision of judges is final.
List was current at time of printing.
Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment.
Batteries not included.
Shading within a garment may occur.
For indoor or outdoor use only.
Simulated picture.
Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform.
Not recommended for children.
Reproduction strictly prohibited.
Video cameras in use.
Store it in a cool, dry place.
Do not use hair dryer while sleeping.
Use inconsistent with package labeling may be a violation of Federal law.
This Web site is intended for the use of the individual members and may contain information that is confidential, privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humor or irrational religious beliefs.
Do not iron clothes on body.
Read label before using.
Penalty for private use.
Never forget 4/20.
Falling rock.
Weekly rates require a 5-day minimum rental or daily rates apply.
Do not disturb.
No purchase necessary.
Prices subject to change without notice.
Rates higher for users under age 25.
Eating before reading may result in unhealthy indigestion.
Always wear safety goggles.
Because of the "Uncertainty Principle," it is impossible for the consumer to find out at the same time both precisely where this product is and how fast it is moving.
Call toll free number before digging.
Misuse may cause personal injury or death.
Beware of dog.
If condition persists, consult your physician.
The most fundamental particles in this product are held together by a "gluing" force about which little is currently known and whose adhesive power can therefore not be permanently guaranteed.
Keep cool; process promptly.
Lost ticket pays maximum rate.
Not to be removed under penalty of law.
Post office will not deliver without postage.
Check here if tax deductible.
Cat napping.
Consult your physician before using this program.
This notice supersedes all previous notices.
Be sure each item is properly endorsed.
Use with adequate ventilation.
Close cover before striking.
Approved for veterans.
This product warps space and time in its vicinity.
New Grand Unified Theory Disclaimer: The manufacturer may technically be entitled to claim that this product is ten dimensional. However, the consumer is reminded that this confers no legal rights above and beyond those applicable to three-dimensional objects, since the seven new dimensions are "rolled up" into such a small "area" that they cannot be detected.
Sign here without admitting guilt.
Not responsible for acts of God.
Thanks to the US Naval Observatory.
As seen on TV.
Not affiliated with the American Red Cross.
Booths for two or more.
Nytol may cause drowsiness.
Driver carries less than $20 worth of ammunition.
Some assembly required.
This product attracts every other piece of matter in the universe, including the products of other manufacturers, with a force proportional to the product of the masses and inversely proportional to the distance between them.
First pull up, then pull down.
This is a 100% matter product: In the unlikely event that this merchandise should contact antimatter in any form, a catastrophic explosion will result.
Use at your own risk.
Package sold by weight, not volume.
Unpredictable results will occur if allowed to pass beyond the event horizon.
For recreational use only.
No passes accepted for this engagement.
For weekend rate, page must be accessed after noon Thursday and returned by noon Monday or higher daily rates apply.
Read all instructions before starting assembly.
Advisory.
Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T.
Sales tax not included.
Consumer Notice.
Caution.
Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop.
For off-road use only.
Availability is limited.
Store in original containers.
Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery.
Use only in a well-ventilated area.
Do not insert backwards.
Any use of this product, in any manner whatsoever, will increase the amount of disorder in the universe; although no liability is implied herein, the consumer is warned that this process will ultimately lead to the heat death of the Universe.
No user-serviceable parts inside.
Women who are pregnant or may become pregnant or are nursing are advised to consult their husband and physician before reading this website.
Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show.
Times are approximate.
Component Equivalency Notice: The subatomic particles (electrons, protons, etc.) comprising this product are exactly the same in every measurable respect as those used in the products of other manufacturers, and no claim to the contrary may legitimately be expressed or implied.
Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear.
Kilroy was here.
Replace with same type.
No trees were killed in the creation of this message. However, many electrons were terribly inconvenienced.
No anchovies unless otherwise specified.
Read the entire test before answering any questions.
No solicitors.
This product contains minute electrically charged particles moving at velocities in excess of five hundred million miles per hour.
Not safe for children and pets.
Remember to not forget.
No alcohol, dogs or horses.
Taxes, airport service charges in Europe, fuel, additional mailbox fee, drop charges and other optional items are extra.
In case of irritation, flush eyes with cold water and consult your physician.
May be too intense for some viewers.
Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward.
Edited for television.
Not recommended for people over the age of 143.
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