|
The mass of this product contains the energy equivalent of 85 million tons of TNT per net ounce of weight.
Warning.
No COD's.
Advisory.
Do not dispose of in fire.
Failure to respond in a timely manner may result in imposition of additional penalties.
No resemblance to any person, living or dead, is intended.
Protected by Smith and Wesson.
This is a 100% matter product: In the unlikely event that this merchandise should contact antimatter in any form, a catastrophic explosion will result.
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
Repeating unconfirmed rumors may have adverse consequences.
Subject to availability.
Call toll free number before digging.
Warranty period limited.
Do not fold, bend, staple or mutilate.
Subject to change without notice.
List each check separately by bank number.
Not affiliated with the American Red Cross.
Eating before reading may result in unhealthy indigestion.
Screens must remain in place to ensure bug free operation.
Use inconsistent with package labeling may be a violation of Federal law.
Edited for television.
Not available in stores, call now, operators are standing by.
Remember to not forget.
Many suitcases look alike.
The above limitations may not apply to you.
Details inside.
Optional CDW at $14.99 a day or less is available in the U.S.
Disabling security features will increase the chance of data theft or corruption.
Some information may be stored in systems not in your country.
Do not use hair dryer in the shower.
Any use of this product, in any manner whatsoever, will increase the amount of disorder in the universe; although no liability is implied herein, the consumer is warned that this process will ultimately lead to the heat death of the Universe.
Shading within a garment may occur.
Proof of purchase required.
At participating locations only.
Use at your own risk.
Useful results can only be obtained in an inertial frame of reference.
Not insured by the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation.
Not to be used in nuclear reactor control systems.
Some restrictions apply.
This conversation may be recorded for training or quality purposes, or just because we feel like we can get away with it.
For off-road use only.
One size fits all.
What goes up, must come down.
Driver carries less than $20 worth of ammunition.
Some equipment shown is optional.
Some assembly required.
Please Note.
For office use only.
Approved for veterans.
Keep away from fire or flame.
Do not insert backwards.
Freshest if eaten before date on carton.
This is not an offer to sell securities.
Times are approximate.
Read the entire test before answering any questions.
Record additional transactions on back of previous stub.
Because of the "Uncertainty Principle," it is impossible for the consumer to find out at the same time both precisely where this product is and how fast it is moving.
For weekend rate, page must be accessed after noon Thursday and returned by noon Monday or higher daily rates apply.
This product warps space and time in its vicinity.
The most fundamental particles in this product are held together by a "gluing" force about which little is currently known and whose adhesive power can therefore not be permanently guaranteed.
No solicitors.
Unpredictable results will occur if allowed to pass beyond the event horizon.
Nytol may cause drowsiness.
Contents may settle during shipment.
Void where prohibited.
Not available in all states.
Beware of dog.
No Canadian coins.
Call toll free before digging.
This abridged version does not contain all of the information present in the full text.
Ignorance of the law is no excuse: Omniscience is mandatory in all cases before the court.
Kilroy was here.
No animals were harmed during the creation of this Web site.
Health Warning: Care should be taken when lifting this product, since its mass, and thus its weight, is dependent on its velocity relative to the user.
Place stamp here.
Drop in any mailbox.
Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement.
Employees and their families are not eligible.
Not responsible for typographical errors.
Consult your physician before using this program.
Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop.
See label for sequence.
Misuse may cause personal injury or death.
No purchase necessary.
Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton.
Close cover before striking.
Do not carry loose batteries in pockets, purses or bags.
Sanitized for your protection.
May cause drowsiness.
Avoid repeated or prolonged contact with skin.
Original proof of purchase must be returned when applying for a refund.
Use only in a well-ventilated area.
Your mileage may vary.
Do not drive car or operate machinery immediately after using Boots Children's Cough Medicine.
Batteries not included.
Violators will be towed at owner's expense. See owner for reimbursement form.
Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward.
Decision of judges is final.
Never forget 4/20.
Taxes, airport service charges in Europe, fuel, additional mailbox fee, drop charges and other optional items are extra.
As seen on TV.
Slippery when wet.
Do not stamp.
Not recommended for people over the age of 143.
Booths for two or more.
Thanks to the Tech Model Railroad Club.
Slightly higher west of the Mississippi.
Do not iron clothes on body.
Bonded items should not be placed in oven, microwave or dishwasher.
If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this email is not authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux pas.
Keep away from small children.
Replace with same type.
Availability is limited.
Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only.
Do not use hair dryer while sleeping.
Reproduction strictly prohibited.
This website is not recommended for inmates, ingrates or anyone professing an irrational fear of cats or any other mammal, those who have a penchant for time wasting, illiterates and lawyers.
Lost ticket pays maximum rate.
No other warranty expressed or implied.
Important Notice to Purchasers.
No trees were killed in the creation of this message. However, many electrons were terribly inconvenienced.
Apply only to affected area.
For external use only.
No user-serviceable parts inside.
For indoor or outdoor use only.
Insure all protective guards are in place before operating machinery.
No anchovies unless otherwise specified.
Women who are pregnant or may become pregnant or are nursing are advised to consult their husband and physician before reading this website.
Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform.
This product attracts every other piece of matter in the universe, including the products of other manufacturers, with a force proportional to the product of the masses and inversely proportional to the distance between them.
Subject to CAB approval.
Not to be copied without the expression permission of the National Foosball League.
Prices subject to change without notice.
Add toner.
Avoid contact with skin.
Shower cap fits one head.
There is an extremely small but nonzero chance that, through a process know as "tunneling," this product may spontaneously disappear from its present location and reappear at any random place in the universe, including your neighbor's domicile. The manufacturer will not be responsible for any damages or inconvenience that may result.
The buyer assumes all risks associated with using this product.
Use with adequate ventilation.
Video cameras in use.
Despite any other listing of product contents found hereon, the consumer is advised that, in actuality, this product consists of at least 99.9999999999% empty space.
Handle With Extreme Care.
Price does not include taxes.
Driver does not carry cash.
Attention.
Thanks to the US Naval Observatory.
Use other side for additional listings.
We have sent the forms which seem right for you.
First pull up, then pull down.
May be too intense for some viewers.
Harmful if swallowed.
Read label before using.
No passes accepted for this engagement.
Not safe for children and pets.
Do not attempt to stop chainsaw chain with your hands.
Read all instructions before starting assembly.
Substantial penalty for early withdrawal.
Package sold by weight, not volume.
Product will be hot after heating.
Keep cool; process promptly.
No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop.
Not a safe alternative to smoking cigarettes.
This Web site is intended for the use of the individual members and may contain information that is confidential, privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humor or irrational religious beliefs.
Colors may, in time, fade.
Not recommended for children.
You could be a winner!
The entire physical universe, including this product, may one day collapse back into an infinitesimally small space. Should another universe subsequently re-emerge, the existence of this product in that universe cannot be guaranteed.
In case of irritation, flush eyes with cold water and consult your physician.
Special usage rates are also available at select locations.
Some quantum physics theories suggest that when the consumer is not directly observing this product, it may cease to exist or will exist only in a vague and undetermined state.
Full license agreement is included within.
Your cancelled check is your receipt.
Cat napping.
Use only pencil or blue or black ball point pen.
Do not fold, spindle or mutilate.
Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients.
Sign here without admitting guilt.
Contents under pressure; do not puncture or incinerate.
Check here if tax deductible.
At some off-airport locations, an airport-imposed tax or fee, ranging up to 10% will apply if you choose to exit on our shuttle bus.
Not to be used for the other use.
May cause allergic skin reaction.
Sales tax not included.
Always wear safety goggles.
Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T.
Weekly rates require a 5-day minimum rental or daily rates apply.
Rates higher for users under age 25.
Restaurant package, not for resale.
Not the Beatles.
Management assumes no liability for unattended items.
Consumer Notice.
Avoid alcoholic beverages while using this software.
This product is meant for educational purposes only.
All models over 18 years of age.
Falling rock.
Must be over 17.
A 24-hour advance reservation is required.
Contains substances known by the State of California to cause cancer or birth defects.
Safe for children and pets.
Store in original containers.
This product contains minute electrically charged particles moving at velocities in excess of five hundred million miles per hour.
Component Equivalency Notice: The subatomic particles (electrons, protons, etc.) comprising this product are exactly the same in every measurable respect as those used in the products of other manufacturers, and no claim to the contrary may legitimately be expressed or implied.
Shipping and handling extra.
Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.
Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show.
Do not disturb.
Helium balloons may explode when elevated to extreme heights.
Thanks to the San Antonio Astronomical Association.
If symptoms persist, consult your physician.
List at least two alternate dates.
Use only as directed.
Remove baby before folding stroller.
Postage will be paid by addressee.
Prerecorded for this time zone.
Store it in a cool, dry place.
Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear.
Penalty for private use.
Not to be copied without the expression permission of Major League Foosball.
New Grand Unified Theory Disclaimer: The manufacturer may technically be entitled to claim that this product is ten dimensional. However, the consumer is reminded that this confers no legal rights above and beyond those applicable to three-dimensional objects, since the seven new dimensions are "rolled up" into such a small "area" that they cannot be detected.
Keep marks inside boxes. Be sure you have marked correctly.
Caution.
Not suitable for use at relativistic speeds.
May cause excitability.
You must be present to win.
Not to be removed under penalty of law.
Not responsible for user stupidity.
Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery.
Parental guidance suggested.
Post office will not deliver without postage.
Do not write below this line.
No alcohol, dogs or horses.
Optional CDW at $23.00 a day or less (shown for guidance only due to fluctuating exchange rates; accurate as of 03/02/01) is available in Europe.
For use only in the intended use.
If condition persists, consult your physician.
Proof of airline or Amtrak arrival is required at ISP counter or higher rates apply.
Hearing protection may be required.
List was current at time of printing.
Subject to local regulation.
Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment.
Public Notice as required by law.
Do not remove label under penalty of law.
For recreational use only.
Not for use with aluminum utensils or cookware.
Unless the word inspletularity has been used in its correct context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical use and may be ignored.
This notice supersedes all previous notices.
Keep this and all software out of the reach of children.
Not responsible for acts of God.
Read this before opening package.
Simulated picture.
According to certain suggested versions of the Grand Unified Theory, the primary particles constituting this product may decay to nothingness within the next four hundred million years.
Be sure each item is properly endorsed.
No postage necessary if mailed in the United States.
|
|
