|
Eating before reading may result in unhealthy indigestion.
Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear.
Substantial penalty for early withdrawal.
Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform.
Shower cap fits one head.
Not suitable for use at relativistic speeds.
Post office will not deliver without postage.
Unless the word inspletularity has been used in its correct context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical use and may be ignored.
Restaurant package, not for resale.
Rates higher for users under age 25.
This Web site is intended for the use of the individual members and may contain information that is confidential, privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humor or irrational religious beliefs.
Unpredictable results will occur if allowed to pass beyond the event horizon.
The above limitations may not apply to you.
Availability is limited.
Read this before opening package.
Your cancelled check is your receipt.
Hearing protection may be required.
Contents under pressure; do not puncture or incinerate.
Prerecorded for this time zone.
Slippery when wet.
Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward.
Do not fold, spindle or mutilate.
Use only in a well-ventilated area.
Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.
New Grand Unified Theory Disclaimer: The manufacturer may technically be entitled to claim that this product is ten dimensional. However, the consumer is reminded that this confers no legal rights above and beyond those applicable to three-dimensional objects, since the seven new dimensions are "rolled up" into such a small "area" that they cannot be detected.
No resemblance to any person, living or dead, is intended.
May cause drowsiness.
Do not use hair dryer while sleeping.
Proof of purchase required.
List was current at time of printing.
Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only.
Useful results can only be obtained in an inertial frame of reference.
You could be a winner!
Not to be used for the other use.
Must be over 17.
Sanitized for your protection.
Consult your physician before using this program.
Batteries not included.
Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop.
The mass of this product contains the energy equivalent of 85 million tons of TNT per net ounce of weight.
See label for sequence.
Not available in stores, call now, operators are standing by.
Slightly higher west of the Mississippi.
Not to be copied without the expression permission of Major League Foosball.
Not to be used in nuclear reactor control systems.
May cause excitability.
Not safe for children and pets.
Use only pencil or blue or black ball point pen.
Optional CDW at $23.00 a day or less (shown for guidance only due to fluctuating exchange rates; accurate as of 03/02/01) is available in Europe.
Do not use hair dryer in the shower.
Record additional transactions on back of previous stub.
Handle With Extreme Care.
List each check separately by bank number.
Penalty for private use.
If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this email is not authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux pas.
This product is meant for educational purposes only.
Caution.
Subject to CAB approval.
Call toll free number before digging.
Store it in a cool, dry place.
Do not fold, bend, staple or mutilate.
This notice supersedes all previous notices.
Repeating unconfirmed rumors may have adverse consequences.
Do not dispose of in fire.
No COD's.
Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show.
Video cameras in use.
Parental guidance suggested.
Do not write below this line.
Not responsible for user stupidity.
No animals were harmed during the creation of this Web site.
You must be present to win.
Cat napping.
Drop in any mailbox.
Not responsible for acts of God.
Safe for children and pets.
Remove baby before folding stroller.
Consumer Notice.
Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton.
Freshest if eaten before date on carton.
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
If symptoms persist, consult your physician.
Proof of airline or Amtrak arrival is required at ISP counter or higher rates apply.
Taxes, airport service charges in Europe, fuel, additional mailbox fee, drop charges and other optional items are extra.
Your mileage may vary.
Any use of this product, in any manner whatsoever, will increase the amount of disorder in the universe; although no liability is implied herein, the consumer is warned that this process will ultimately lead to the heat death of the Universe.
Remember to not forget.
Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement.
The entire physical universe, including this product, may one day collapse back into an infinitesimally small space. Should another universe subsequently re-emerge, the existence of this product in that universe cannot be guaranteed.
Thanks to the Tech Model Railroad Club.
Use at your own risk.
At some off-airport locations, an airport-imposed tax or fee, ranging up to 10% will apply if you choose to exit on our shuttle bus.
Reproduction strictly prohibited.
Optional CDW at $14.99 a day or less is available in the U.S.
Employees and their families are not eligible.
Do not insert backwards.
Subject to availability.
Do not disturb.
This abridged version does not contain all of the information present in the full text.
At participating locations only.
Some restrictions apply.
Helium balloons may explode when elevated to extreme heights.
As seen on TV.
Use only as directed.
Not responsible for typographical errors.
Nytol may cause drowsiness.
Please Note.
For use only in the intended use.
Some information may be stored in systems not in your country.
For weekend rate, page must be accessed after noon Thursday and returned by noon Monday or higher daily rates apply.
Package sold by weight, not volume.
Contents may settle during shipment.
Protected by Smith and Wesson.
For recreational use only.
What goes up, must come down.
Prices subject to change without notice.
Ignorance of the law is no excuse: Omniscience is mandatory in all cases before the court.
Read all instructions before starting assembly.
Subject to change without notice.
Disabling security features will increase the chance of data theft or corruption.
No passes accepted for this engagement.
Screens must remain in place to ensure bug free operation.
Driver does not carry cash.
Driver carries less than $20 worth of ammunition.
Insure all protective guards are in place before operating machinery.
No solicitors.
Misuse may cause personal injury or death.
Decision of judges is final.
Simulated picture.
Harmful if swallowed.
Do not stamp.
Not affiliated with the American Red Cross.
Read label before using.
For indoor or outdoor use only.
No alcohol, dogs or horses.
For external use only.
Violators will be towed at owner's expense. See owner for reimbursement form.
Call toll free before digging.
Not to be removed under penalty of law.
Shipping and handling extra.
May cause allergic skin reaction.
Edited for television.
Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T.
Close cover before striking.
Not recommended for children.
This website is not recommended for inmates, ingrates or anyone professing an irrational fear of cats or any other mammal, those who have a penchant for time wasting, illiterates and lawyers.
This conversation may be recorded for training or quality purposes, or just because we feel like we can get away with it.
Warranty period limited.
Not for use with aluminum utensils or cookware.
Place stamp here.
Check here if tax deductible.
Because of the "Uncertainty Principle," it is impossible for the consumer to find out at the same time both precisely where this product is and how fast it is moving.
Keep marks inside boxes. Be sure you have marked correctly.
Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery.
Keep away from small children.
Special usage rates are also available at select locations.
We have sent the forms which seem right for you.
This is not an offer to sell securities.
Weekly rates require a 5-day minimum rental or daily rates apply.
Read the entire test before answering any questions.
Details inside.
Do not attempt to stop chainsaw chain with your hands.
Failure to respond in a timely manner may result in imposition of additional penalties.
Times are approximate.
No postage necessary if mailed in the United States.
Some assembly required.
Despite any other listing of product contents found hereon, the consumer is advised that, in actuality, this product consists of at least 99.9999999999% empty space.
May be too intense for some viewers.
Use inconsistent with package labeling may be a violation of Federal law.
The buyer assumes all risks associated with using this product.
Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients.
Keep cool; process promptly.
Avoid repeated or prolonged contact with skin.
Be sure each item is properly endorsed.
Not a safe alternative to smoking cigarettes.
Sales tax not included.
Advisory.
List at least two alternate dates.
Product will be hot after heating.
Not the Beatles.
Avoid alcoholic beverages while using this software.
This is a 100% matter product: In the unlikely event that this merchandise should contact antimatter in any form, a catastrophic explosion will result.
Some equipment shown is optional.
No anchovies unless otherwise specified.
First pull up, then pull down.
Booths for two or more.
For off-road use only.
Falling rock.
All models over 18 years of age.
For office use only.
According to certain suggested versions of the Grand Unified Theory, the primary particles constituting this product may decay to nothingness within the next four hundred million years.
Full license agreement is included within.
No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop.
If condition persists, consult your physician.
Contains substances known by the State of California to cause cancer or birth defects.
Approved for veterans.
Avoid contact with skin.
No Canadian coins.
Not recommended for people over the age of 143.
Add toner.
In case of irritation, flush eyes with cold water and consult your physician.
Thanks to the US Naval Observatory.
No other warranty expressed or implied.
No purchase necessary.
Use with adequate ventilation.
Always wear safety goggles.
Do not iron clothes on body.
Warning.
No user-serviceable parts inside.
This product contains minute electrically charged particles moving at velocities in excess of five hundred million miles per hour.
Postage will be paid by addressee.
Original proof of purchase must be returned when applying for a refund.
Subject to local regulation.
Kilroy was here.
Bonded items should not be placed in oven, microwave or dishwasher.
Beware of dog.
Not to be copied without the expression permission of the National Foosball League.
Many suitcases look alike.
Lost ticket pays maximum rate.
Public Notice as required by law.
Some quantum physics theories suggest that when the consumer is not directly observing this product, it may cease to exist or will exist only in a vague and undetermined state.
Management assumes no liability for unattended items.
This product warps space and time in its vicinity.
Do not remove label under penalty of law.
Store in original containers.
Attention.
Important Notice to Purchasers.
There is an extremely small but nonzero chance that, through a process know as "tunneling," this product may spontaneously disappear from its present location and reappear at any random place in the universe, including your neighbor's domicile. The manufacturer will not be responsible for any damages or inconvenience that may result.
Not available in all states.
This product attracts every other piece of matter in the universe, including the products of other manufacturers, with a force proportional to the product of the masses and inversely proportional to the distance between them.
The most fundamental particles in this product are held together by a "gluing" force about which little is currently known and whose adhesive power can therefore not be permanently guaranteed.
Sign here without admitting guilt.
One size fits all.
Do not drive car or operate machinery immediately after using Boots Children's Cough Medicine.
Do not carry loose batteries in pockets, purses or bags.
Not insured by the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation.
Health Warning: Care should be taken when lifting this product, since its mass, and thus its weight, is dependent on its velocity relative to the user.
Never forget 4/20.
Price does not include taxes.
Use other side for additional listings.
Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment.
Colors may, in time, fade.
Keep this and all software out of the reach of children.
Apply only to affected area.
Replace with same type.
Shading within a garment may occur.
Component Equivalency Notice: The subatomic particles (electrons, protons, etc.) comprising this product are exactly the same in every measurable respect as those used in the products of other manufacturers, and no claim to the contrary may legitimately be expressed or implied.
A 24-hour advance reservation is required.
Women who are pregnant or may become pregnant or are nursing are advised to consult their husband and physician before reading this website.
Thanks to the San Antonio Astronomical Association.
Void where prohibited.
No trees were killed in the creation of this message. However, many electrons were terribly inconvenienced.
Keep away from fire or flame.
|
|
