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The buyer assumes all risks associated with using this product.
Read label before using.
Never forget 4/20.
Some assembly required.
No anchovies unless otherwise specified.
Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients.
Advisory.
Use at your own risk.
May be too intense for some viewers.
Remove baby before folding stroller.
At participating locations only.
Use other side for additional listings.
Not to be copied without the expression permission of the National Foosball League.
Thanks to the US Naval Observatory.
Reproduction strictly prohibited.
Please Note.
Health Warning: Care should be taken when lifting this product, since its mass, and thus its weight, is dependent on its velocity relative to the user.
Product will be hot after heating.
Do not remove label under penalty of law.
Sales tax not included.
Rates higher for users under age 25.
Handle With Extreme Care.
Some equipment shown is optional.
Do not iron clothes on body.
Approved for veterans.
Lost ticket pays maximum rate.
There is an extremely small but nonzero chance that, through a process know as "tunneling," this product may spontaneously disappear from its present location and reappear at any random place in the universe, including your neighbor's domicile. The manufacturer will not be responsible for any damages or inconvenience that may result.
Not the Beatles.
Not recommended for people over the age of 143.
All models over 18 years of age.
Kilroy was here.
Keep away from small children.
Repeating unconfirmed rumors may have adverse consequences.
Thanks to the Tech Model Railroad Club.
Consumer Notice.
Contents may settle during shipment.
We have sent the forms which seem right for you.
Decision of judges is final.
Batteries not included.
Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery.
This abridged version does not contain all of the information present in the full text.
Caution.
If condition persists, consult your physician.
May cause drowsiness.
Video cameras in use.
Apply only to affected area.
As seen on TV.
For indoor or outdoor use only.
Record additional transactions on back of previous stub.
Failure to respond in a timely manner may result in imposition of additional penalties.
You must be present to win.
Keep marks inside boxes. Be sure you have marked correctly.
Nytol may cause drowsiness.
Simulated picture.
Optional CDW at $14.99 a day or less is available in the U.S.
Penalty for private use.
Details inside.
No animals were harmed during the creation of this Web site.
Do not disturb.
Replace with same type.
No passes accepted for this engagement.
Not to be removed under penalty of law.
Be sure each item is properly endorsed.
Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show.
List was current at time of printing.
Do not use hair dryer while sleeping.
For weekend rate, page must be accessed after noon Thursday and returned by noon Monday or higher daily rates apply.
Keep away from fire or flame.
Keep this and all software out of the reach of children.
Insure all protective guards are in place before operating machinery.
Slippery when wet.
Do not stamp.
No user-serviceable parts inside.
Avoid contact with skin.
Price does not include taxes.
No alcohol, dogs or horses.
Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement.
Read all instructions before starting assembly.
Safe for children and pets.
Subject to CAB approval.
Unless the word inspletularity has been used in its correct context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical use and may be ignored.
Read the entire test before answering any questions.
Contains substances known by the State of California to cause cancer or birth defects.
Not affiliated with the American Red Cross.
New Grand Unified Theory Disclaimer: The manufacturer may technically be entitled to claim that this product is ten dimensional. However, the consumer is reminded that this confers no legal rights above and beyond those applicable to three-dimensional objects, since the seven new dimensions are "rolled up" into such a small "area" that they cannot be detected.
Slightly higher west of the Mississippi.
Beware of dog.
Optional CDW at $23.00 a day or less (shown for guidance only due to fluctuating exchange rates; accurate as of 03/02/01) is available in Europe.
Do not attempt to stop chainsaw chain with your hands.
First pull up, then pull down.
For external use only.
Postage will be paid by addressee.
The mass of this product contains the energy equivalent of 85 million tons of TNT per net ounce of weight.
If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this email is not authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux pas.
Special usage rates are also available at select locations.
Do not insert backwards.
Not safe for children and pets.
Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.
Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear.
Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T.
May cause allergic skin reaction.
Freshest if eaten before date on carton.
Call toll free before digging.
This product contains minute electrically charged particles moving at velocities in excess of five hundred million miles per hour.
Keep cool; process promptly.
Shower cap fits one head.
Falling rock.
No solicitors.
List at least two alternate dates.
Use with adequate ventilation.
Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment.
Employees and their families are not eligible.
Prerecorded for this time zone.
List each check separately by bank number.
Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only.
A 24-hour advance reservation is required.
Avoid repeated or prolonged contact with skin.
The entire physical universe, including this product, may one day collapse back into an infinitesimally small space. Should another universe subsequently re-emerge, the existence of this product in that universe cannot be guaranteed.
Parental guidance suggested.
Driver carries less than $20 worth of ammunition.
Availability is limited.
This product attracts every other piece of matter in the universe, including the products of other manufacturers, with a force proportional to the product of the masses and inversely proportional to the distance between them.
This conversation may be recorded for training or quality purposes, or just because we feel like we can get away with it.
This Web site is intended for the use of the individual members and may contain information that is confidential, privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humor or irrational religious beliefs.
Disabling security features will increase the chance of data theft or corruption.
Original proof of purchase must be returned when applying for a refund.
Because of the "Uncertainty Principle," it is impossible for the consumer to find out at the same time both precisely where this product is and how fast it is moving.
Sanitized for your protection.
Post office will not deliver without postage.
Proof of airline or Amtrak arrival is required at ISP counter or higher rates apply.
Not to be used in nuclear reactor control systems.
Women who are pregnant or may become pregnant or are nursing are advised to consult their husband and physician before reading this website.
Use inconsistent with package labeling may be a violation of Federal law.
Read this before opening package.
The above limitations may not apply to you.
Edited for television.
Management assumes no liability for unattended items.
Bonded items should not be placed in oven, microwave or dishwasher.
Screens must remain in place to ensure bug free operation.
Shipping and handling extra.
Your mileage may vary.
Unpredictable results will occur if allowed to pass beyond the event horizon.
Warning.
Not to be used for the other use.
Driver does not carry cash.
Public Notice as required by law.
Not to be copied without the expression permission of Major League Foosball.
Harmful if swallowed.
No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop.
Despite any other listing of product contents found hereon, the consumer is advised that, in actuality, this product consists of at least 99.9999999999% empty space.
Not insured by the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation.
Not for use with aluminum utensils or cookware.
You could be a winner!
If symptoms persist, consult your physician.
Many suitcases look alike.
Component Equivalency Notice: The subatomic particles (electrons, protons, etc.) comprising this product are exactly the same in every measurable respect as those used in the products of other manufacturers, and no claim to the contrary may legitimately be expressed or implied.
This website is not recommended for inmates, ingrates or anyone professing an irrational fear of cats or any other mammal, those who have a penchant for time wasting, illiterates and lawyers.
No other warranty expressed or implied.
Taxes, airport service charges in Europe, fuel, additional mailbox fee, drop charges and other optional items are extra.
Not a safe alternative to smoking cigarettes.
Any use of this product, in any manner whatsoever, will increase the amount of disorder in the universe; although no liability is implied herein, the consumer is warned that this process will ultimately lead to the heat death of the Universe.
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
No purchase necessary.
Violators will be towed at owner's expense. See owner for reimbursement form.
Add toner.
For off-road use only.
Do not drive car or operate machinery immediately after using Boots Children's Cough Medicine.
Misuse may cause personal injury or death.
Ignorance of the law is no excuse: Omniscience is mandatory in all cases before the court.
This product warps space and time in its vicinity.
Booths for two or more.
Helium balloons may explode when elevated to extreme heights.
Store it in a cool, dry place.
Always wear safety goggles.
Use only as directed.
Weekly rates require a 5-day minimum rental or daily rates apply.
See label for sequence.
Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform.
For office use only.
Contents under pressure; do not puncture or incinerate.
Restaurant package, not for resale.
Subject to change without notice.
Remember to not forget.
Proof of purchase required.
Check here if tax deductible.
At some off-airport locations, an airport-imposed tax or fee, ranging up to 10% will apply if you choose to exit on our shuttle bus.
Subject to local regulation.
What goes up, must come down.
No trees were killed in the creation of this message. However, many electrons were terribly inconvenienced.
Place stamp here.
Not available in all states.
Not recommended for children.
Use only pencil or blue or black ball point pen.
This notice supersedes all previous notices.
No Canadian coins.
Void where prohibited.
Consult your physician before using this program.
Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop.
Hearing protection may be required.
No resemblance to any person, living or dead, is intended.
Not available in stores, call now, operators are standing by.
May cause excitability.
Subject to availability.
Do not fold, bend, staple or mutilate.
No COD's.
Sign here without admitting guilt.
Do not dispose of in fire.
Cat napping.
Do not fold, spindle or mutilate.
Not responsible for typographical errors.
Eating before reading may result in unhealthy indigestion.
This is a 100% matter product: In the unlikely event that this merchandise should contact antimatter in any form, a catastrophic explosion will result.
Do not write below this line.
Times are approximate.
Not responsible for user stupidity.
Full license agreement is included within.
Useful results can only be obtained in an inertial frame of reference.
Drop in any mailbox.
For use only in the intended use.
Must be over 17.
Thanks to the San Antonio Astronomical Association.
Some restrictions apply.
The most fundamental particles in this product are held together by a "gluing" force about which little is currently known and whose adhesive power can therefore not be permanently guaranteed.
Some quantum physics theories suggest that when the consumer is not directly observing this product, it may cease to exist or will exist only in a vague and undetermined state.
Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton.
Do not carry loose batteries in pockets, purses or bags.
Some information may be stored in systems not in your country.
Store in original containers.
This product is meant for educational purposes only.
Attention.
Colors may, in time, fade.
Important Notice to Purchasers.
Not suitable for use at relativistic speeds.
Your cancelled check is your receipt.
One size fits all.
This is not an offer to sell securities.
Protected by Smith and Wesson.
Prices subject to change without notice.
Warranty period limited.
Shading within a garment may occur.
Avoid alcoholic beverages while using this software.
Close cover before striking.
Package sold by weight, not volume.
For recreational use only.
According to certain suggested versions of the Grand Unified Theory, the primary particles constituting this product may decay to nothingness within the next four hundred million years.
Call toll free number before digging.
Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward.
Do not use hair dryer in the shower.
No postage necessary if mailed in the United States.
Use only in a well-ventilated area.
Not responsible for acts of God.
In case of irritation, flush eyes with cold water and consult your physician.
Substantial penalty for early withdrawal.
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