Fred Koschara - My official personal Web page

The Internet Home of

Fred Koschara

This site is best viewed in landscape on small screens.
Please rotate your phone.

Avoid repeated or prolonged contact with skin. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Sanitized for your protection. This is a 100% matter product: In the unlikely event that this merchandise should contact antimatter in any form, a catastrophic explosion will result. Never forget 4/20. Not responsible for acts of God. Do not iron clothes on body. Do not stamp. Availability is limited. This product attracts every other piece of matter in the universe, including the products of other manufacturers, with a force proportional to the product of the masses and inversely proportional to the distance between them. Remove baby before folding stroller. Sales tax not included. No trees were killed in the creation of this message. However, many electrons were terribly inconvenienced. Useful results can only be obtained in an inertial frame of reference. Prerecorded for this time zone. Attention. Use only pencil or blue or black ball point pen. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. Simulated picture. Not to be used in nuclear reactor control systems. No passes accepted for this engagement. The buyer assumes all risks associated with using this product. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. Slippery when wet. Not the Beatles. Weekly rates require a 5-day minimum rental or daily rates apply. Do not carry loose batteries in pockets, purses or bags. Batteries not included. Not available in stores, call now, operators are standing by. Consult your physician before using this program. Contains substances known by the State of California to cause cancer or birth defects. Do not remove label under penalty of law. This environment in which this site is read may contain oxygen, a chemical known to the State of California to facilitate combustion. Your mileage may vary. Price does not include taxes. Keep this and all software out of the reach of children. Do not write below this line. The entire physical universe, including this product, may one day collapse back into an infinitesimally small space. Should another universe subsequently re-emerge, the existence of this product in that universe cannot be guaranteed. Misuse may cause personal injury or death. Bonded items should not be placed in oven, microwave or dishwasher. Not responsible for typographical errors. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Statistics show that oxygen causes cancer: 100% of the people who got cancer were breathing oxygen at the time. Postage will be paid by addressee. Life is a fatal disease. Disabling security features will increase the chance of data theft or corruption. Keep marks inside boxes. Be sure you have marked correctly. Void where prohibited. Prolonged exposure to oxygen has been associated with aging and eventual death. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Always wear safety goggles. The above limitations may not apply to you. Warning. One size fits all. Subject to CAB approval. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Proof of airline or Amtrak arrival is required at ISP counter or higher rates apply. Helium balloons may explode when elevated to extreme heights. For off-road use only. Some restrictions apply. Not available in all states. Caution. Special usage rates are also available at select locations. Contents under pressure; do not puncture or incinerate. No purchase necessary. You could be a winner! You must be present to win. Trolls are known to cause unexpected interference. Avoid alcoholic beverages while using this software. Not recommended for children. At participating locations only. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. We have sent the forms which seem right for you. Thanks to the San Antonio Astronomical Association. For office use only. Insure all protective guards are in place before operating machinery. Your cancelled check is your receipt. Post office will not deliver without postage. Health Warning: Care should be taken when lifting this product, since its mass, and thus its weight, is dependent on its velocity relative to the user. Prices subject to change without notice. Thanks to the US Naval Observatory. If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this email is not authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux pas. No Canadian coins. Store in original containers. Times are approximate. For external use only. Use inconsistent with package labeling may be a violation of Federal law. Not safe for children and pets. Nytol may cause drowsiness. Do not use hair dryer in the shower. Ignorance of the law is no excuse: Omniscience is mandatory in all cases before the court. Call toll free number before digging. Harmful if swallowed. Check here if tax deductible. Failure to respond in a timely manner may result in imposition of additional penalties. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Cat napping. Excessive enthusiasm may lead to castigation. Repeating unconfirmed rumors may have adverse consequences. Do not disturb. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Shipping and handling extra. Subject to local regulation. Screens must remain in place to ensure bug free operation. Not to be used for the other use. Avoid contact with skin. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. Optional CDW at $14.99 a day or less is available in the U.S. Reproduction strictly prohibited. Many suitcases look alike. Drop in any mailbox. Not responsible for user stupidity. See label for sequence. Read the entire test before answering any questions. Keep away from small children. Product will be hot after heating. Video cameras in use. Full license agreement is included within. Do not use hair dryer while sleeping. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. No resemblance to any person, living or dead, is intended. Not insured by the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation. Public Notice as required by law. Thanks to the Tech Model Railroad Club. Rates higher for users under age 25. Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T. Optional CDW at $23.00 a day or less (shown for guidance only due to fluctuating exchange rates; accurate as of 03/02/01) is available in Europe. Some information may be stored in systems not in your country. Consumer Notice. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Use other side for additional listings. Unless the word inspletularity has been used in its correct context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical use and may be ignored. Any use of this product, in any manner whatsoever, will increase the amount of disorder in the universe; although no liability is implied herein, the consumer is warned that this process will ultimately lead to the heat death of the Universe. Sign here without admitting guilt. Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop. Parental guidance suggested. The most fundamental particles in this product are held together by a "gluing" force about which little is currently known and whose adhesive power can therefore not be permanently guaranteed. Shading within a garment may occur. Do not insert backwards. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. Decision of judges is final. Management cannot be held responsible for your extreme stupidity. Booths for two or more. This notice supersedes all previous notices. Close cover before striking. May cause excitability. No user-serviceable parts inside. At some off-airport locations, an airport-imposed tax or fee, ranging up to 10% will apply if you choose to exit on our shuttle bus. Some assembly required. Shower cap fits one head. Penalty for private use. Falling rock. For weekend rate, page must be accessed after noon Thursday and returned by noon Monday or higher daily rates apply. Handle With Extreme Care. Apply only to affected area. Violators will be towed at owner's expense. See owner for reimbursement form. Driver carries less than $20 worth of ammunition. Protected by Smith and Wesson. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Keep cool; process promptly. Warranty period limited. Read all instructions before starting assembly. For indoor or outdoor use only. According to certain suggested versions of the Grand Unified Theory, the primary particles constituting this product may decay to nothingness within the next four hundred million years. May cause drowsiness. Use at your own risk. Package sold by weight, not volume. For use only in the intended use. Read this before opening package. This is not an offer to sell securities. The mass of this product contains the energy equivalent of 85 million tons of TNT per net ounce of weight. This abridged version does not contain all of the information present in the full text. Hearing protection may be required. Use only as directed. Replace with same type. List was current at time of printing. Kilroy was here. Employees and their families are not eligible. No animals were harmed during the creation of this Web site. Colors may, in time, fade. Advisory. Contents may settle during shipment. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. In case of irritation, flush eyes with cold water and consult your physician. New Grand Unified Theory Disclaimer: The manufacturer may technically be entitled to claim that this product is ten dimensional. However, the consumer is reminded that this confers no legal rights above and beyond those applicable to three-dimensional objects, since the seven new dimensions are "rolled up" into such a small "area" that they cannot be detected. No alcohol, dogs or horses. For recreational use only. Please Note. Call toll free before digging. Add toner. A 24-hour advance reservation is required. Beware of dog. Some equipment shown is optional. Important Notice to Purchasers. Component Equivalency Notice: The subatomic particles (electrons, protons, etc.) comprising this product are exactly the same in every measurable respect as those used in the products of other manufacturers, and no claim to the contrary may legitimately be expressed or implied. Do not dispose of in fire. Edited for television. Subject to availability. No other warranty expressed or implied. Unpredictable results will occur if allowed to pass beyond the event horizon. Original proof of purchase must be returned when applying for a refund. If symptoms persist, consult your physician. Subject to change without notice. This website is not recommended for inmates, ingrates or anyone professing an irrational fear of cats or any other mammal, those who have a penchant for time wasting, illiterates or lawyers. Driver does not carry cash. Not a safe alternative to smoking cigarettes. List each check separately by bank number. Not to be removed under penalty of law. Taxes, airport service charges in Europe, fuel, additional mailbox fee, drop charges and other optional items are extra. This product contains minute electrically charged particles moving at velocities in excess of five hundred million miles per hour. Safe for children and pets. There is an extremely small but nonzero chance that, through a process know as "tunneling," this product may spontaneously disappear from its present location and reappear at any random place in the universe, including your neighbor's domicile. The manufacturer will not be responsible for any damages or inconvenience that may result. You must not expect this document to be unchanged when you return to it later. Despite any other listing of product contents found hereon, the consumer is advised that, in actuality, this product consists of at least 99.9999999999% empty space. Details inside. Must be over 17. Not suitable for use at relativistic speeds. Modified to fit your screen. As seen on TV. Restaurant package, not for resale. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Because of the "Uncertainty Principle," it is impossible for the consumer to find out at the same time both precisely where this product is and how fast it is moving. This conversation may be recorded for training or quality purposes, or just because we feel like we can get away with it. Do not fold, bend, staple or mutilate. May be too intense for some viewers. This Web site is intended for the use of the individual members and may contain information that is confidential, privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humor or irrational religious beliefs. Keep away from fire or flame. Not to be copied without the express permission of the National Foosball League. Place stamp here. Store it in a cool, dry place. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Eating before reading may result in unhealthy indigestion. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. Do not attempt to stop chainsaw chain with your hands. Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Not for use with aluminum utensils or cookware. This product warps space and time in its vicinity. Not to be copied without the express permission of Major League Foosball. List at least two alternate dates. Proof of purchase required. May cause allergic skin reaction. First pull up, then pull down. Some quantum physics theories suggest that when the consumer is not directly observing this product, it may cease to exist or will exist only in a vague and undetermined state. Not recommended for people over the age of 143. This product is meant for educational purposes only. Do not drive car or operate machinery immediately after using Boots Children's Cough Medicine. Women who are pregnant or may become pregnant or are nursing are advised to consult their husband and physician before reading this website. Use only in a well-ventilated area. What goes up, must come down. Management assumes no liability for unattended items. Remember to not forget. Read label before using. No COD's. Approved for veterans. No solicitors. Use with adequate ventilation. Caution! Bus is kneeling. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.

Site Features